When should I start a routine for my baby? Right away?

If you have been around for a while you know that I am a huge fan of a day to day flexible routine for babies and parents.

Why? Well, first off, a predictable, flexible routine allows each person in the family (even caregivers outside of mom and dad), to know what comes next.

As human beings, we all appreciate predictability - and when we know what is coming next or have a hunch about how it all goes down, it makes us all feel better. When things are unpredictable or inconsistent, it stresses us out. We start to feel more uncomfortable, question our choices and it makes it more difficult to know what our children REALLY need. When our goal is to take care of their needs, this is paramount to understanding!

So what is the best way to start a routine and when can you start it?

B.E.S.T Routine

I have always followed an eat play sleep routine and encourage my clients to do the same. For sake of ease, I call this my “B.E.S.T.” Routine, mostly because it requires me to remember that I’m just doing my best. It won’t be perfect and every day it might be a little different … but I will try my best to stay on this routine from day ONE (hint: you’ll even notice the nurses at the hospital putting you on this routine as well). So what does this acronym stand for? Let’s get into it!

B - BREAST OR BOTTLE

E - ENTERTAINMENT

S - SLEEP

T - TIME FOR YOU

Every 2-3 hours throughout the day, this is the routine that you will follow. As your baby gets older, the amount of time it takes to get through a feeding and the amount of time that they can stay awake will increase - so don’t be surprised when we adjust this routine with age.

This is where many parents get stuck and caught up. IMPORTANT: IT WON’T BE PERFECT AND IT WONT BE THE SAME FROM DAY TO DAY. You’ll have to listen and watch your baby to really know what they need, and sometimes that means you must go off “routine” to achieve it. If you think your baby didn’t get a quality feed in after they woke up from their nap, perhaps you feed them again before their next nap. There are crazy days where things are all out of whack. No worries! This routine isn’t rigid. You do what you need to do and get back on as soon as you can.

In the most basic form, throughout the day you feed your baby, they do an “activity” and stay up for their age appropriate wake window time and then you put them to sleep.

Definition: A WAKE WINDOW is the time from the moment your baby wakes to the moment they go back to sleep.

Example of age appropriate wake windows:

0-4 weeks -> 35-60 minutes

4-12 weeks -> 60-90 minutes

3-4 months -> 75-125 minutes

5-6 months -> 2-3 hours

7-14 months -> 3-4 hours

14-24 months -> 4-6 hours

It’s important to remember that “wake windows” (aka the amount of time they are awake - BE in the BEST routine) are just an average. Your baby’s cues will let you know what they are ready for before any wake window estimate. Trust yourself!

B: Breast or bottle is offered right upon waking

Of course, you can change their diaper if they are soiled. If you have hit the 3 hour mark from the start of their last feeding, you’ll need to wake your baby during the day to feed them again.

Feeding them every 2-3 hours during the DAY (and waking them from naps!), help baby get their nutrients in during the day and awake time during the day. This helps regulate that 24 hour circadian rhythm and foundation for day and night sleep.

Note: this is why your nurses will bring your baby in when they wake/are crying OR every 3 hours during the day so you can feed them. Don’t you love how they are starting this routine for you?

Tip: I set alarms for every 3 hours from the “first” feeding of the day - anytime between 5-8 am.

E: Entertainment or Activity

When they are newborns, “activity” is literally a diaper change. They aren’t able to stay up much longer. As baby’s get a bit older (think between 6-8 weeks), they may be able to stay awake a little bit longer so you can look out the window, use a play mat, pull out your black and white cards, have some tummy time. This is where you’ll start to look for sleepy cues to know when they are ready for bed. Don’t wait to “stretch” a wake window to whatever person or website told you to wait. When you see your baby yawn, claw at their face, eyes/eyebrows red, turning head side to side - get them to bed ASAP. Don’t wait! And overtired baby makes going to sleep MUCH harder.

S: Sleep

This is when you put your baby down to sleep. Swaddle your baby up, offer a paci, put on white noise, and in a safe place for sleep. I suggest using these sleep associations every.single.sleep - even for daytime naps. Note: don’t worry about putting baby in a dark room for sleep until around 8 weeks. Until then, we really want them to understand that daytime is loud, bright, and when we are awake and night time is for sleep.

When baby is a newborn, you can let them sleep on you (the sweetest), in a bassinet, pack and play, crib, the floor! Just make sure you are placing them on a safe sleep surface. What ISN’T a safe sleeping surface for a baby?

Elevated surfaces without sides like a table or counter.
A bed or soft mattress with pillows and/or blankets.
A crib with bumpers, pillows and/or blankets.
A couch or chair.
A pumpkin seat/carseat.
An incline rocker such as a rock and play.
The floor when there are animals present.

T: Time for YOU

Ah. A second when baby is sleeping for YOU. Now I’m going to be completely honest here. Weeks 0-4 are going to be hellish. It is HARD. It feels like you are in a horrible episode of groundhogs day but without the daily shower.

This is when you need to be calling in your reinforcements for help and support. You’ll need help with meals, water/hydration, cleaning, bottles, restocking items for you and baby, laundry, the list goes on and on. My rule of thumb is to write down what you need to accomplish for yourself that day (just 1!) and work to achieve it. Be clear about the things that need to be done and what you can pass off to a partner, parent or friend. Don’t be shy about your needs! If someone offers to cook you a meal or bring you a coffee - TAKE IT. If someone offers to hold the baby, don’t feel that you need to visit. Take a shower and lay down. This time is so precious, it’s vital to take care of YOU in the process.

Example of a B.E.S.T. Routine for an 8 week old:

6:50 am - eat

7:20 am - activity

8:00 am - sleep

8-9:45 am - me time

9:50 am - eat

In conclusion, by setting up this flexible day to day routine, you’re allowing yourself to really tune into your child’s nonverbal cues to KNOW what they need. Gosh, I love taking the guesswork out of things. Who else likes making things easier?

You’ve got this mama! If you need help implementing this style of routine in conjunction with sleep training techniques, shoot me a message and we’ll hop on a free call to find how I can best support your family!